ACTIVE LISTENING CHEAT SHEET

If you want to be a better listener to troubled people, print this out and carry it in your pocket.  When someone you care about expresses a great problem, worry, or difficulty, take out the cheat sheet to help you come up with one of these responses:

TO SHOW EMPATHY AND OPEN COMMUNICATION, SAY:

• I guess you're feeling . . . (fill in an appropriate feeling - worried, anxious, distressed and so on).  Is that it?

• You seem . . . (fill in an appropriate feeling).  

• It sounds like . . . Is that it?

• I guess you wish . . . Is that it?

• You sound upset (angry, frustrated).  What's up?

• You seem worried that ... is going to happen.  Is that it?

 

BEFORE GIVING ADVICE, YOU MIGHT SAY

• So you’re saying . . .

• What have you tried so far?

• How did that work?

• What else have you considered?

and then -- if you really, really want to give advice -- say:

• Do you want to know what I think?